'Regrets, I've had a few' ...

Packing, leaving, saying goodbye, and what's next

On Monday, I left the Dofe House after nearly four months as the artist / writer-in-residence. I have complicated feelings that I am not quite ready to unspool, and the last day was immensely difficult due to a death in my fur family. My familiar, Lua, a cat I’ve had for 17 years, decided she was not going to come with me any further. She was a bold and big love, and it was an honor to take her to the very end.

Lua, enjoying the expansive yard at the Dofe House Residency, September 2023

Lua was named after a Bright Eyes song, if that gives you any context of where I was in my life at the time she entered it. Lua’s death marks the end of an era, and we spent nearly two decades in Billings, Montana together. Lua moved with me seven times in the city, met every greyhound and rescue dog that came into my care, and she also met every boyfriend and snuggled every heartbreak I sustained. Together we met the love of my life, Matt Taggart, and she became his furry love, too. He called her Kitty, and it was an enduring nickname that stuck.

Lua, enjoying the beautiful furnishings at the Dofe House, and keeping warm on her heating pad.

Another notable nickname was Rotisserie Kitty, as she loved being on her heating pad, flopping herself back and forth and enjoying the warmth.

Lua survived a viral disease obtained from an unsanitary animal shelter in Billings when she was a kitten. The virus was not the kind that ever went away, and it eventually killed her. Sadly, that shelter is still operating and continues spreading diseases in the Billings animal community. If you are seeking to adopt an animal, I highly recommend the excellent folks at Yellowstone Valley Animal Shelter. They are doing the work of angels every day and provide veterinary services and maintain sanitary conditions for the animals that come into their care.

Lua was full of love, and she won over everyone she met with her huge purrs and face rubs. She loved the vets and technicians at Best Friends Animal Hospital that cared for her, and they in turn loved her back. She surprised all of us with her stamina and resilience, bouncing back many times when the virus tried to take her away.

I am in awe of the timing. Lua made it clear to me that she was ready to leave her earthly body on the last day of my residency. I could feel her pain, and it woke me in the middle of the night. She continued downhill the following day as I was packing to leave. I found a service that would meet us, and we left the Dofe House together, her wrapped in a blanket in my arms as I drove to the appointment.

I will be forever grateful to Lua for her graceful exit. It seemed that she knew it was time to try on a new form and head into the great unknown. The moves were hard on her, though she seemed to enjoy car rides. She just loved being with her people, and her doggie, Peaches. She would follow Peaches around in the yard, and try to eat from her food dish. Lua took on many forms in her life with us, giving everyone who knew her pure and direct love.

What’s next?

I am taking a few weeks of vacation before heading onto my next chapter. I will not be writing this newsletter for a bit as I settle into a new adventure. Please know I will be back, and I am grateful to everyone who has subscribed and supported me during this residency.

These are a couple poems I typed as I was getting ready to leave the Dofe House (forgive the messy nature, which I find to be part of the joy of writing on an old typewriter). Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” was ringing in my head as I wrote this first poem, as I will always have a few regrets, but this residency was on my terms. I did it my way. And for that, I am so proud.